This past year was THE definition of an emotional roller coaster ride. So many major events occurred that have impacted the way I view not only the world around, but also myself.
It began with a desire to finish strong--college that is. I came to terms with the realization that I no longer would be enrolled in any type of academia and it was an incredibly bittersweet moment (you can read my Senior Year Recap HERE). After what seemed like the fastest four years of my life, college was over just like that. What followed shortly after was a dream.
I travelled to two countries: Japan and South Korea (watch it all HERE). Visiting Japan was so ethereal. Every day was a new adventure and my friend Grace and I had an incredible time eating until our stomachs couldn't possibly digest another tempura. I also learned how humidity, although quite beneficial for my skin, was not the friendliest in terms of keeping up a chipper attitude (aka I will never visit Japan in the summer...again). My stay in Korea was filled with so much love and, of course, food. So.much.food. I bonded with my cousin with whom I had the best time visiting local spots with. Overall, summer was amazing...and then fall came around.
I talked about my post-grad dilemma in one of my vlogmas videos (which you can watch HERE). What seemed like a dream in one season came crashing down in a harsh slap to reality in the next. Although I am incredibly grateful for the privilege and opportunity to have accomplished graduating and traveling earlier in the year, nothing could take me out of this weird almost depressing haze of post-grad life. Despite the countless hours heeding advice from older colleagues and mentors, no amount of "you'll get through it" and "everyone goes through the same thing" could shake off this weight that had be dumped on my shoulders. Months went by with no progress and to be quite honest, I'm still not feeling quite whole.
As I end this dialogue of how I've felt about this entire year, I can't come up with one feeling to wrap things up. Every day is a challenge for me emotionally because although I do feel very thankful and happy for what I have and for the friends and family who surround me, it is very difficult for me to avoid thinking about what I don't have control over. I'm not going to lie and say that not having a job doesn't bother me and I'm not going to say that I'm always grateful. But, what I will say is that whenever these thoughts creep up on me, I say to myself that in the end, IN THE END, all will be well. This is not forever and it truly is just a small dot in a sea of goodness that I know will come. 2018 will be a good year. 2018 will mark a turning point in my life and I can feel it in my bones. However dramatic I may sound, somewhere in my gut I know that as soon as the clock strikes midnight, great things are bound to happen in my life...and hopefully to yours too.
Stay safe and keep your head up,